STORY STORY!!! “First Joke Of The Year” (A Must Read)

Posted by E.L.E.X on March 13 2020 under Motivational

I just had sex with Tobi a few weeks after we met. Don’t blame me please, the guy is fine.

I gave him a close look and he looked like he’s a big a boy down there. I knew somehow that I’d want to have a taste of him.

I visited him on Christmas Eve, he made a sumptuous meal and we axed the day with mind-blowing sex.

He didn’t bother using a condom as I’ve told him how condoms give me irritation. He was good and I didn’t regret my actions.

I was supposed to get a visit from Aunty Flo on the 26th which was to last for 5 days. Behold! Aunty Flo decided to stay back in her abode.

I wasn’t all that worried, it was just a day or so I thought. Aunty Flo decided to make her abode her permanent resident.

She didn’t even come to say hi. My Flo tracker kept reminding me that my period was 6 days late.

Ha! Temi bami laye mi. My mates are praying for good things this new year, I’m here praying for God to give me a second chance in this world of sin.

Hmm, what to do? I picked up my phone and placed a call to Tobi

“What’s up cow?”

“I’m fine sexy, how are you?” He said.

“I’m okay dear… “ I said getting anxious.

“errrmm Tobi,happy new year!” I said.

“Same to you my gee” he said to me.

I rolled my eyes at the sound of that. In my head I’m like; “Alaye, gee go soon turn baby mama or wifey.”

I was scared to ask him what I wanted to ask but I did anyway.

I started slowly; “I know you didn’t cum inside me but did you by chance start the process inside me and ended it on the bed?” I asked in fear.

“Sweetheart, calm down and let me understand your language.” He said.

“Okay Tobi, did you cum inside me at all?”

He laughed and said “no dear”

“Okay, but I can’t find my period”

“Ohoh Shewa! is this how to start the new year?” He asked annoyingly.

“You’re not a baby now, find it! But I’m not keeping your period sha.” He added.

Ouch! Right there and then, I knew I had fucked up. I began to regret my actions.

I performed ablution and prayed to God to give me a second chance. I started to think of how my father will send me packing. I thought of how my mother will tell me I’m a disappointment.

Ha! God! Will I now abort? Abi I should give birth? Who will take care of the baby? Maybe I should just run away. God! I’ve finally disgraced my lineage.

I couldn’t sleep for days. I started craving weird food. I knew right there and then that I was pregnant.

Hmm! All die na die. I decided to confide in my friend. I hit her up and narrated my ordeal to her.

“But madam why didn’t you use condom or take contraceptive afterwards?” She asked.

“Ha! Babe, you know I like it raw and I didn’t think contraceptive was needed. I was sure he didn’t cum inside me.” I said sounding confused.

“You see what liking it raw has caused you? Raw material.” She said concerned.

“I think you should go for pregnancy test.” She added.

My heart skipped a bit when I heard that.

Well, I summoned the courage to go for the test. They asked for my age and I immediately lied I was 25 even though I was only 23. I even told them I was married when they asked for my marital status. Don’t blame me please, you know how judgmental people are.

The test result came out in no time. The doctor handed it to me with smiles plastered on his face. “I’m dead,” I thought to myself. This one thinks me being pregnant is good news. I walked out of the lab dejected. I knew I had to write my farewell letter to my parents. Just when I was about stopping a bike, a girl walked up to me.

“Don’t freak out dear, I think you’re stained.”

“Stained?” I asked in excitement.

I didn’t care if the world had seen my stained ass. I was happy. Wait! Could it be my Flow or is it just spotting? Luckily, she had a scarf on, she gave it to me to wrap around my waist while we went to a nearby Pharmacy. Fortunately, the pharmacy is the same place she works.

She handed me a sanitary pad and I narrated my ordeal to her. She laughed and said the delay could as a result of stress, or some drugs I used while I was sick.

She even said it could be that my period was changing cycle. Nevertheless, I was happy. I thanked God for not allowing me to disgrace my family.

I stylishly checked the test result and it was negative. The doctor probably had smiles on because he loves smiling.

“Dear, next time use your protection, or better still use contraceptives. There are some that can be implanted. Above all, abstinence is the best.” She said to me.

I secretly rolled my eyes at her.

“Thanks, girl!” I said to her.

Na you Sabi, 2020, we move! Happy new year guys. My new year just started, I thought to myself.

Story Written by:- Anike